.ORG

I got an admin job last week :) (By right it’s suppose to be an admin job but oh my, it turned out to be doing odd jobs like moving boxes by myself and doing packaging etc along with… removing staples, folding papers and inserting them into envelopes.) The sales people there more or less thought I was hired to specially move boxes and pack them. How funny.

I have more than 10 paper cuts on my fingers so far. Boo.

And I told my supervisor I’m going to quit 2 days back =) If all goes well, the 9th of Jan shall be my last day of work. AHAHA. I’m looking forward to it in fact.

Anyone care to beat my record?

Received two letters :)

I’ve earned 350 bucks XD 150 for the EAGLES award (a leadership award) and 200 bucks for good progress made in studies ^^

Imagine the irony when I get back my A levels and I see plenty of B, C and D but just not an A. Hohoho.

Anyway, I’m mad now. At my mama again. :( I realise I’m constantly at loggerheads with my mama. I do get tired of it but the two of us are stubborn people and neither are willing to give in to each other. Hmmmmph!

Was reading a classmate’s blog.

Realised a lot of things I never knew. Hmm… how do I put it? It’s like the cliché saying of looking at a glass that is half-filled with water. I can say for sure that I’ll see it as half empty. But she looks at it as half full :)

I’ve always known that logic but this time it’s different =) After all, she’s the first person whom I know who can really really really look at a glass half-filled with water as half full. Or at least that’s what I feel after reading her latest entry.

And yes Christiana my dear, I do agree with you. I rather have a few good friends than a lot of random friends. Haha. But at least I attempted to salvage this regret that has long been seeded in my heart. But on the other hand, I have to admit that I’m someone who clings on to the past and finds it hard to forget what has happened before… Rawr. Life is complicated, eh?

Now I’m worried about what’s going to happen when I enter university. Will the same things happen again? Will they? And how will I react when I encounter the same problems? By right I’m supposed to “learn from my past experiences” but by left, we never do learn.

Talking about university, I’ve received an invitation to apply for NUS’s University Scholars Programme. Ho ho hum. Frankly speaking, I do want to try for it but I’m rather apprehensive about it. Mainly the interview :( I get nervous very very easily though I often pretend to play cool about it. -__-” And besides, I’m rather undecided about what degree to take.

Just last year, I was rather determined to take Computer Science but now… I’m quite worried actually. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do in future.

Here’s the main reasons why I don’t want to take Computer Science:

1. There’s many outstanding people out there who are gifted and talented. How can I hold up to them? (In case anyone wonders, I’m a perfectionist and I strive to perform my best in everything I do. Naturally, I expect the best results too which explains why often or not, I always get disappointed).
2. Technology is constantly evolving and me being a lazy bum has no wish to keep up with technology. Stupid reason but yes, it’s one of my concerns and it is a major concern!
3. No other girl I knows want to take Computing or Computer Science. Boohoohoo ): Everyone’s off to take Accounting, Business, Economics and blah blah
4. I have other considerations like working in the tourism industry ^^ I like to make people smile. Makes me happy too XD
5. My daddy wants me to take Accounting

[Edit] My mama is evil! Pronounced as e-v-i-l. Yes yes, read my lips. Evil! :( I have to wipe two dressing tables clean (including the dirty disgusting black dust that often lies unsuspectingly behind furniture!) and wrap them in some sticky transparent plastic paper (we’re moving house soon!). Following which, I have to do the same for 3 cupboards and 2 study desks. After that, I have to clean all the rubbish bins in the house. Eeeeew!

I protest! Imagine how much fats I’ll lose! Ah yes, my mass (not weight!) is hovering around 40kg! :( I used to be happy about it but now I’m not. Reason is, I need to buy more jeans. My only two jeans (or 3/4 jeans) are getting lose. One has already fallen below my hips and has to be worn with a belt or else… hmmm. The other is dangerously hanging at my hip level and is about to suffer the same fate as the above. Blah. [/Edit]

I have no idea if any of my junior college classmates are reading this. It seems stupid of me to say this but please do continue reading, especially this entry because it is of particular importance to me at least, and I hope it will be for you.

Firstly, I have no idea what sort of person I am to any of you since I talk to only 5 people in the class.

I’m pretty sure none of you would like to talk to me too, since talking to me would be deemed as uncool and not in sync with what the popular people does - talking only to the popular ones like those who constantly crack jokes in class and hang out with you guys only.

But hey, why do some of you talk to me only when you’re alone? Have you tried talking to me when other of your group people are there too?

On my part, I’m sorry. I do admit that I behave like that too. It sounds hilarious but I’m scared of all of you. I wish to become friends with you guys but I’m afraid. Ridiculous yes but it’s because I’m afraid that we have no common topics to talk about. You know that kind of awkward silence? Even with close friends, like those I talk to, I’m still hold back who I truly am. It’s hard not to.

I like to just simply stare at the sky and not talk. And boy, I can keep quiet for hours. But everyone simply loves to talk and so at times, I’ll rack my brains for topics to talk about. At times to no avail and other times, come up with idiotic topics that simply doesn’t fit the occasion, thereby further downgrading my image in front of others. I hate the feeling of trying to come up with new stuff to talk about. See, I’m a boring person. But can we all still be friends? We’re classmates, aren’t we?

Thinking back, was it because I’m not athletic enough? I still remember the time when we had PE together this year and we had to play floorball. Ah yes, the group I was in had people like me and some other seemingly and really is, not the least athletic people. Very unfortunately, some of you were by accident, divided into our group. And it was pretty evident that you all weren’t very happy and wanted to change groups, to enter the other group which had people in sports CCAs. Alas, the teacher didn’t allow any more changing of groups. Know why my friends and I got so spurred on to perform and excel later on? It’s because we all know that you guys were expecting a really easy win. It sucks, isn’t it?

I had my share of flaws too. I totally cut myself off from talking to eh, a guy in our class. I think it’s pretty obvious who but yes, I do hope we can be mutual friends again because, we have been classmates for two years, haven’t we? I have to admit that I don’t know much about you but I’ve been hearing lots of things concerning you from other people which affected my opinion of you greatly. Were those things true or just rumors, I have no idea. It all started with your breakup with your ex-girlfriend and my opinion of you started to nosedive. Then came project work. Yes, I got really irritated at times. I don’t know if you got irritated by me too since I do admit that I can get pretty bossy at times (even though I’m just the secretary of the group). Sorry about that. But yes, the two of us do need to trash things out, don’t we? So if you’re ever reading this, sms me okay? But I’m very sure my number is deleted from yours. In fact, yours is deleted from mine too :) So you can get mine from our mutual close friend. I’m sure you know who.

To the rest of the classmates: When you guys look at the other classes like SC1/SB1, do you all feel a pang of jealousy like I do? It looks as if none of you cared. Or maybe I might be wrong. I wish our class could be that close. If it appears as if I don’t care, then I’m sorry for that false image. But I do. Though we don’t sit together during breaks and classes, but I really wish we could. Doing things together, as a class. Stumbled upon someone’s blog by accident. Yes, she (it’s a her, so I guess it’s very obvious who…) blogged about the last day of school. People were taking pictures with friends, teachers and what not. She posted a picture of her friends. I took a look at it. Recognised every single one of them. My classmates. But where was I? Where was my other friends who are also part of the class? Where?

In case you guys are thinking how come my brain is suddenly so screwed up and why am I turning so emotional, it’s because I am emotional. I never said I wasn’t. I just didn’t want to regret and waste the two years of my junior college life. I want to be able to look back and say happily, “That’s what classmates are for.” :) Another reason is thanks to Valerie’s post. I’ve been thinking about it for a day. And it enlightened me a little so thanks my dear!

Why do everyone always assume that I’m bright and cheery just because I’m smiling?

Ever wondered how dark my world can be?

Ever wondered how sensitive I can be?

Ever wondered how hurt I can be simply because of stupid harmless jokes?

Sometimes I don’t understand myself either.

How did I ever managed to counsel people and provide with them emotional support and strength when I myself need those desperately to the extent that I have opted to see a counsellor. I have to admit that it is hilarious when I try to tell them to be positive when I can’t at all.

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Ah yes. This site is once again reborn. Not that anyone visits anyway and I so cleverly deleted the previous one along with all the links so yeah. All the links are gone :( So do leave your URL if possible yeah (that is if anyone still visits)?

I was just thinking, vintage cars are expensive.

Needless to say, vintage wines are more than twice as expensive as normal ones.

So how come old handphones are cheap? :( Mine’s a 2002 model.

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