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I have no idea if any of my junior college classmates are reading this. It seems stupid of me to say this but please do continue reading, especially this entry because it is of particular importance to me at least, and I hope it will be for you.

Firstly, I have no idea what sort of person I am to any of you since I talk to only 5 people in the class.

I’m pretty sure none of you would like to talk to me too, since talking to me would be deemed as uncool and not in sync with what the popular people does - talking only to the popular ones like those who constantly crack jokes in class and hang out with you guys only.

But hey, why do some of you talk to me only when you’re alone? Have you tried talking to me when other of your group people are there too?

On my part, I’m sorry. I do admit that I behave like that too. It sounds hilarious but I’m scared of all of you. I wish to become friends with you guys but I’m afraid. Ridiculous yes but it’s because I’m afraid that we have no common topics to talk about. You know that kind of awkward silence? Even with close friends, like those I talk to, I’m still hold back who I truly am. It’s hard not to.

I like to just simply stare at the sky and not talk. And boy, I can keep quiet for hours. But everyone simply loves to talk and so at times, I’ll rack my brains for topics to talk about. At times to no avail and other times, come up with idiotic topics that simply doesn’t fit the occasion, thereby further downgrading my image in front of others. I hate the feeling of trying to come up with new stuff to talk about. See, I’m a boring person. But can we all still be friends? We’re classmates, aren’t we?

Thinking back, was it because I’m not athletic enough? I still remember the time when we had PE together this year and we had to play floorball. Ah yes, the group I was in had people like me and some other seemingly and really is, not the least athletic people. Very unfortunately, some of you were by accident, divided into our group. And it was pretty evident that you all weren’t very happy and wanted to change groups, to enter the other group which had people in sports CCAs. Alas, the teacher didn’t allow any more changing of groups. Know why my friends and I got so spurred on to perform and excel later on? It’s because we all know that you guys were expecting a really easy win. It sucks, isn’t it?

I had my share of flaws too. I totally cut myself off from talking to eh, a guy in our class. I think it’s pretty obvious who but yes, I do hope we can be mutual friends again because, we have been classmates for two years, haven’t we? I have to admit that I don’t know much about you but I’ve been hearing lots of things concerning you from other people which affected my opinion of you greatly. Were those things true or just rumors, I have no idea. It all started with your breakup with your ex-girlfriend and my opinion of you started to nosedive. Then came project work. Yes, I got really irritated at times. I don’t know if you got irritated by me too since I do admit that I can get pretty bossy at times (even though I’m just the secretary of the group). Sorry about that. But yes, the two of us do need to trash things out, don’t we? So if you’re ever reading this, sms me okay? But I’m very sure my number is deleted from yours. In fact, yours is deleted from mine too :) So you can get mine from our mutual close friend. I’m sure you know who.

To the rest of the classmates: When you guys look at the other classes like SC1/SB1, do you all feel a pang of jealousy like I do? It looks as if none of you cared. Or maybe I might be wrong. I wish our class could be that close. If it appears as if I don’t care, then I’m sorry for that false image. But I do. Though we don’t sit together during breaks and classes, but I really wish we could. Doing things together, as a class. Stumbled upon someone’s blog by accident. Yes, she (it’s a her, so I guess it’s very obvious who…) blogged about the last day of school. People were taking pictures with friends, teachers and what not. She posted a picture of her friends. I took a look at it. Recognised every single one of them. My classmates. But where was I? Where was my other friends who are also part of the class? Where?

In case you guys are thinking how come my brain is suddenly so screwed up and why am I turning so emotional, it’s because I am emotional. I never said I wasn’t. I just didn’t want to regret and waste the two years of my junior college life. I want to be able to look back and say happily, “That’s what classmates are for.” :) Another reason is thanks to Valerie’s post. I’ve been thinking about it for a day. And it enlightened me a little so thanks my dear!